One of the hardest parts of pastoral ministry for me is not becoming focused on the approval of my church and those around us.
While people might see me as a hard-headed guy, with little concern for peoples perception of me, it is not that case. I find it incredibly easy to find my acceptance based on the last email I received, or how well my last meeting of the day went, or from the feedback I got on my last sermon. It also means when things are unresolved, or I find out that I missed someone’s disapproval it can really eat away at me. So is this a warning to my congregation: you better act nice, or I’m going to get weepy? Well, no; because, I’m never going to make everyone happy, and everyone has their own preferences. And there are just some people that won’t be happy with my ministry no matter what. Instead, it’s a confession, and an urging for other people to see if they fall into the same trap.
The problem with tying my self-worth to a perceived congregational approval rating is that it prevents me from leading. Leaders have to make tough decisions, they have to be willing to be unpopular for the sake of caring for people, and as I said above they can’t please everyone. But when I’m tying my decision making to an approval rating, or in my case fear over who is going to stay or go, it can derail necessary steps that the church needs to take. It is also dangerous because I’m creating a false vision of my church. If I want to please everyone I can fall into the trap of diluting the vision to such an extent that no one is bothered, and no one is challenged. It also means my identity drops through the floor when I think things are not going well.
The good news is that I can get off this tiltawhirl. Christ offers me something better than the strength to gain approval from my friends. He offers me the father’s total and complete approval. I don’t have to be a slave of people’s opinions of me. I don’t have only finding satisfaction when everyone is happy. In fact, the try to find my approval in that stuff would be like me saying, I know the Christian faith is about the work of God for us, but I’m more interested in what people think about what I’m doing. I’ll end with a short passage from the New Testament that I often find helpful.
“Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man — Ephesians 6:5–7 ESV”